Obligatory School-Related Post

I’ve been determined since undertaking this project to find heterosexist microaggressions in the school. And, (un?)fortunately, I’m coming up a little dry. I think part of it, honestly, is that the School of Social Work lives up to its reputation to being an environment of social justice. I think maybe a bigger part may be that I’ve sort of trained myself not to notice microaggressions. It’s uncomfortable for me to encounter and process them, and, not to psychoanalyze myself too much, I think I use it as a defense mechanism so that I can go on liking my school and my classmates.

That said, I’m noticing that on an interpersonal level it’s difficult for me to relate to a lot of my predominantly heterosexual and female classmates. I think it’s because there are bi-directional expectations at work based on gender on sexuality. On one hand, I feel like classmates are expecting me to fulfill gay male stereotypes about mannerisms, behavior, and dating. On the other hand, I expect them to have those expectations, so it stands out to me when I think they are acting in accordance with that. In short: they expect me to be Will, I expect them to be Grace. Those feelings aside, I would have to be completely oblivious not to notice all of the talk about boyfriends and husbands and hetero-relationships that, kind of inexplicably, makes me feel left out.

In the classroom, the most common theme I notice is the assumption of heterosexuality in any sort of therapeutic vignette or hypothetical situation. Whenever discussing the case of a gay person, it’s always explicitly stated, but if it is not then the client is always presumed to be heterosexual. Which, I think, is fair of the students to think that since it might not be a client population they have had much experience with. Still, it doesn’t take the professor much time or energy to mention sexuality and the similar or varying implications for a client depending on her or his orientation.

Mention of “gay issues” in classes is a double-edged sword. It needs to be there, but when it does get mentioned, I always feel like attention is directed at me and that it’s my responsibility to say something. Part of that is because I’m located at a gay agency, but I don’t think that’s why I feel an expectation to give my homo-sanction to the discussion. I find myself worrying a lot if these feelings I have are unfounded and are simply a result of some kind of heterosexist minority threat. I will say, though, that I think I can make a completely tenable claim that there is little LGBT-related material in the overall curriculum. Cultural competence is (somewhat) discussed with respect to race and ethnicity and gender, but there is nothing I have been taught about considerations for LGBT clients. Every day I’m at SAGE I think, what on earth would this be like for a straight student who has had no experience with gay people? And, because of this gap in the curriculum, I feel like my experiences are not always applicable to lessons or class discussions. I know the gay students are starting to sound like broken records at the school, but there is really a disservice to both gay and straight students in the area of queer ally building.

I guess that’s a lot of talking without a concrete, recent example for the portfolio. So here is one from a week or two ago that I’ll let speak for itself:

Student: Where is your field placement?

Mike: Oh, at an agency that provides counseling for gay elders.

Student: Oh…[voice going up an octave] Oh, that’s great!

Okay, I won’t let it speak for itself. Students should not be uncomfortable at the mere thought of gay people! ARGH.

Something Borrowed, Something Blah

Fred Thompson Quizzed On Civil Unions

The link goes to a short story about Fred Thompson getting confused about the state of same-sex marriages and civil unions. Thompson’s campaign supports states’ rights to decide on civil unions and he is against recognizing full faith and credit with respect to same-sex unions.

I’ve intentionally skirted around the political arena up to this point because, well, with politics comes the same-sex marriage debate, and with the same-sex marriage debate comes my utter exhaustion. I don’t think it’s particularly homophobic to not to be up-to-date with the current state of same-sex marriage in the U.S. I, however, think there is some heterosexism in some of the way that the issue is handled in a lot of my interactions. For one, people always assume that I support same-sex marriage. I don’t. I support the right for all people of all sexualities to get married, but I have no intention to get married, nor do I even like the institution as a whole.

I’m thinking, too, that a classmate of mine flashed me her engagement ring the other day and I couldn’t help but feel a little…alienated, maybe? Like, she made a choice to become part of an institution that I cannot be a part of (even though I don’t want to, but whatever) and that is a conscious choice to perpetuate the privileges awarded to heterosexuality. I’m sure she didn’t intend to upset me or anything, and truthfully she didn’t, but I always feel that way when I’m so directly confronted by marriage. It just confounds me how many socially liberal and pro-gay straight people get married, and it’s not like I’m seeing a lot of “bring the institution down from the inside” sort of behavior going on. Maybe if culturally we focused more on the experiences of actual gay people inside and outside of relationships, there would be more interpersonal consideration from straight people on how they may or may not be committing microaggressions in this area.

Younger Than Springtime

Aging and Gay, and Facing Prejudice in Twilight

The linked Times article was actually published earlier in the month, but seeing how it is so relevant to emerging issues of homophobia and how it was the partly impetus for me choosing this topic area, I thought it should be included. In addition, I’m currently completing my field placement at SAGE, an organization for gay elders, many of whom are facing difficulties like those mentioned in the article. In brief, Gross gives a picture of gay and lesbian individuals living in nursing homes and assisted living facilities. Many of these elders experience a “re-closeting” of sorts, meaning that they hide their sexuality in order to avoid derision from staff and other residents.

What makes the issue so affecting, outside of my personal work in this area, is that it really covers so many aspects of homophobia and heterosexism. These elders receive discrimination at a micro-level, in the form of insults from other residents and staff members wearing gloves at inappropriate times. Moreover, there is institutional discrimination within the homes, as evidenced by the moving of gay residents to dementia units so in order to assuage the anxieties of the other residents. There is also an enormous cultural devaluing of the elderly, and gay elders have little or no representation in any media. I know that the (front page!) publication of this article helped to increase visibility, and I spoke with about a dozen friends and family members who read the article and were outraged at the treatment received by these individuals.

I think, or at least I would hope, that the overall public reaction to these sorts of issues would be that of anger or shock. It’s surprising because, even though agencies like SAGE have been around for several years, sexuality among the elderly just does not get discussed on a cultural level. Particularly regarding nursing homes, there are already so many issues of overlooking the needs of the elderly that such a consideration almost seems superfluous. I think that continued press on the experiences of gay elders can only result in augmented efforts and increased understanding of their needs.

Especially because many of the instances of homophobia mentioned are overt and based on unambiguous discrimination, it is easier to document and report such experiences in the media. Without a doubt, much of the press on gay issues goes to same-gender marriage, politics, and issues relevant to youth, which I think reflects what we consider worthwhile under the spectrum of “gay issues”. Hence, being able to affect widespread positive change in the daily interactions of and microagressions against these gay residents may take a long time. Until then, I think we can do our job to increase awareness and give support to LGBT aging projects that are already working against homophobia and heterosexism.