Not Exactly Brangelina, These Guys

Top Chef 3's Dale, Project Runway 4's Jack dating, having safe sex.

Okay, so I’ve wanted to discuss homophobia in movies or TV or some other media, but I'm increasingly realizing that I don't really watch movies or TV that much any more. But! I do try to keep up with Bravo's programming, so this headline grabbed my attention, and it gives me a chance to think about media representations despite the roominess of the entertainment-lacking cave I apparently dwell in.

Anyway, so this is kind of an anomalous news story, both in its lack of relevance (That’s totally my judgment. Two people who lost separate reality competitions are now dating? Fascinating!) but more so because stories about gay men dating aren’t exactly widely circulated. Especially stories that touch upon HIV and some of the issues it raises in relationships.

My strongest reaction is to the concerns that Jack, who is HIV-positive, caused by dating a man who is believed to be HIV-negative. Jack says, much more tactfully than I would probably put it if I were in his position, that there are plenty of ways to be sexually active without risking transmission of the virus. I think that this concern is probably a reaction a lot of Bravo fans might have had to hearing the story. Knowing Jack’s status, the thought definitely crossed my mind: “I wonder if the HIV thing is an issue.” It got me thinking, too, about if I would date a guy who is HIV-positive. (I am negative.) I like to think I would, but maybe I’m giving myself too much credit.

I’m still working out how the story relates to homophobia and/or heterosexism. Its fairly wide circulation in the blogosphere and my subsequent uneasiness makes me think it does relate in some way. I think there is kind of a Venn diagram of HIV-phobia and homophobia, in that there is often a demonstrable overlap but that each is capable of operating outside of one another. Jack mentioned in another article on the subject (that I am currently unable to relocate) that people kind of assumed that Dale is negative, so I think that’s one aspect. There is an assumption of HIV-negativity unless it’s openly refuted. I think it speaks to certain presumptions about homosexuality, too, that most people jump right to the sexual aspect of the relationship. It’s like there is this idea of, “How do they have sex?” Why do they have to have sex? It’s like the HIV status throws an incongruous wrench into what people expect of a gay relationship. And I don’t want to put it off me totally by saying “people” assume that, because I think that too.

I’m kind of wondering now how HIV status fits into (or doesn’t fit into) the greater isms discourse. It’s an identity that is often invisible and cuts across every other identity. It also is wrapped up with presumptions of race, ethnicity, and sexuality. I guess even though I think these kinds of “news” stories are a little…fluffy, I’m glad it’s giving some awareness to gay inter-HIV status relationships. There are implications for looking at heterosexism, to be sure, but I think I’m mostly happy that it can give someone like my mother, who is a Top Chef fan, some awareness about these identities.

Backward Christian Soldiers

Miller Jr., R. L. (2007). Legacy denied: African american gay men, AIDS, and the black church. Social Work, 52(1), 51-61.

I’ve linked to the full article via ProQuest, so you need some sort of authorization to hack through that little bit of academic red tape.

Miller, Jr. gathered qualitative data from ten participants on their experiences with being gay, HIV-positive, and involved in primarily African American churches. The general pattern that emerged from the participant’s narratives was that they feel a conundrum since they receive spiritual support and education while simultaneously experiencing ostracism from the congregation because of their orientation and HIV status. It’s refreshing for me to read the study since I think that so much worthwhile data can be gathered from these kinds of qualitative interviewing, and I think it’s important for the visibility of these issues in the larger academic community. Additionally, I find it remarkable that these men, despite all of their examples of homophobia in their congregations, remained in their churches for as long as they did. It’s difficult for me to understand, I suppose, because I do not come from that kind of spiritual community. My first reaction is over-simplistic: Why don’t they just leave if they don’t want to be proselytized to about their sexuality? Clearly, these men were not attending out of some perfunctory response for their community; they really enjoy the spiritual guidance.

What was most jarring for me reading the article was the discrimination received due to the AIDS crisis. One participant discusses how, following the death of his partner due to AIDS-related illness, the preacher in his congregation told everyone that the partner’s soul is lost and that he is in hell. I just find that sort of behavior appalling, particularly because it carries a religious sanction and it’s coming from a person who is supposed to provide support and guidance. I worry that I have such a strong, condemnatory reaction toward that kind of speech because it’s a cultural, religious, and racial context that I have absolutely no personal overlap with. I feel like it’s not really my place to shake my head at this form of homophobia, but as a gay person I’m completely offended and outraged.

At the same time, I can hear Keith Boykin’s words running through my head about the assumptions many people make about African Americans regarding homophobia. Now I bristle every time I hear a queer person or ally tsk-tsk about the rampant homophobia in the black religious community. There seem to be issues specific to African Americans regarding ideas of liberation and masculinity that often stand in opposition to gay or HIV-positive identities, but to say that blacks as a whole are more homophobic is ridiculous, I think. And it’s never explicitly stated whom they are allegedly more homophobic than. More homophobic than…whites? Than other, more accepting people of color? It’s so frustrating how these issues of homophobia often boil down to these judgments of who is the most or least homophobic.

Christianity is a messy issue for me to think about, so I often don’t. I’ve often thought in my interactions with Christian gay men that I have absolutely nothing in common with this person. I guess it speaks to the enormous blanket that the LGBT label puts on the community since listening to someone speak of their devout Christian beliefs is often like hearing an unfamiliar language. I still have a lot of work to do regarding my presumptions and discomfort about religion, and I think most of it comes from my sexuality. It’s one of my more overt areas of prejudice. I’m certainly becoming more conscious of it in the context of studying isms.