Fear and Self-Loathing

Jeremy's Journey Continues

This might be another example of me trying to fit something into the discussion of homophobia and heterosexism that might not be applicable, but I feel up to the challenge. So the link goes to a rather grisly story about Jeremy Gillitzer, a gay man in Minnesota who has been committed (by social workers) to an eating disorders hospital. There is no mention of any overt homophobia he has experienced, but the article got me thinking about the pervasiveness of eating disorders and body image distortions among in the gay (male) community.

Jeremy’s words about his disorder being a form of comfort really resonate with me. I think that maybe an eating disorder could be a way to provide comfort for a gay man’s feelings of self-hatred. Internalized homophobia is one area I haven’t really discussed here, but I don’t think that it just comes in the classic example of the “straight” guy who acts homophobic on the outside to hide his disapproval of his actual orientation. In terms of these serious body image disorders, maybe this internalized homophobia comes from a place of, “I accept that I’m gay, but I hate myself for being gay and not fitting in to the strict physical requirements of the community.” Maybe?

As a culture, I think there is a certain discomfort around seeing men with eating disorders. It goes against much of our notions of proper masculinity to see men obsess about their appearance to the point of losing weight and muscle mass. There’s a specter of sexism, too, hovering around this issue. I guess looking at my own very visceral reaction of horror to seeing the pictures of Jeremy, part of it is that I have an assumption of eating disorders as being a women’s disease. It’s like, a story about a (non-celebrity) woman with an eating disorder wouldn’t faze me because it’s such a gendered affliction. I think that even the cultural omnipresence of the word manorexic illustrates how we don’t take the issue all that seriously. Clearly, it’s a serious issue in the gay male community, so treating it with such a combination of levity and contempt tells me that this issue is not worth discussing, which smacks of heterosexism.

It seems like it would be really difficult to discuss any of these issues without giving due exploration into the role of sexism. Eating disorders among heterosexual women can be viewed in one way as the coercion of women into male-sanctioned perceptions of beauty and worth. I wonder if there are similar aspects at work among gay men. If eating disorders are indeed a way of wresting control from otherwise adverse circumstances, what is it about those circumstances that make them so unmanageable? I think this internalized homophobia has something to do with it, and really, where is there to turn when you hold an ism against yourself?

Not Exactly Brangelina, These Guys

Top Chef 3's Dale, Project Runway 4's Jack dating, having safe sex.

Okay, so I’ve wanted to discuss homophobia in movies or TV or some other media, but I'm increasingly realizing that I don't really watch movies or TV that much any more. But! I do try to keep up with Bravo's programming, so this headline grabbed my attention, and it gives me a chance to think about media representations despite the roominess of the entertainment-lacking cave I apparently dwell in.

Anyway, so this is kind of an anomalous news story, both in its lack of relevance (That’s totally my judgment. Two people who lost separate reality competitions are now dating? Fascinating!) but more so because stories about gay men dating aren’t exactly widely circulated. Especially stories that touch upon HIV and some of the issues it raises in relationships.

My strongest reaction is to the concerns that Jack, who is HIV-positive, caused by dating a man who is believed to be HIV-negative. Jack says, much more tactfully than I would probably put it if I were in his position, that there are plenty of ways to be sexually active without risking transmission of the virus. I think that this concern is probably a reaction a lot of Bravo fans might have had to hearing the story. Knowing Jack’s status, the thought definitely crossed my mind: “I wonder if the HIV thing is an issue.” It got me thinking, too, about if I would date a guy who is HIV-positive. (I am negative.) I like to think I would, but maybe I’m giving myself too much credit.

I’m still working out how the story relates to homophobia and/or heterosexism. Its fairly wide circulation in the blogosphere and my subsequent uneasiness makes me think it does relate in some way. I think there is kind of a Venn diagram of HIV-phobia and homophobia, in that there is often a demonstrable overlap but that each is capable of operating outside of one another. Jack mentioned in another article on the subject (that I am currently unable to relocate) that people kind of assumed that Dale is negative, so I think that’s one aspect. There is an assumption of HIV-negativity unless it’s openly refuted. I think it speaks to certain presumptions about homosexuality, too, that most people jump right to the sexual aspect of the relationship. It’s like there is this idea of, “How do they have sex?” Why do they have to have sex? It’s like the HIV status throws an incongruous wrench into what people expect of a gay relationship. And I don’t want to put it off me totally by saying “people” assume that, because I think that too.

I’m kind of wondering now how HIV status fits into (or doesn’t fit into) the greater isms discourse. It’s an identity that is often invisible and cuts across every other identity. It also is wrapped up with presumptions of race, ethnicity, and sexuality. I guess even though I think these kinds of “news” stories are a little…fluffy, I’m glad it’s giving some awareness to gay inter-HIV status relationships. There are implications for looking at heterosexism, to be sure, but I think I’m mostly happy that it can give someone like my mother, who is a Top Chef fan, some awareness about these identities.

Taking The "Ism " Out Of "Islam"

Gay Muslim Outs Himself to Muslim Scholars at Conference

The article link goes to a UK Gay News story about a gay Muslim man who came out to an audience of Muslim scholars at the International Consultation on Islam and HIV/AIDS. Suhail AbualSameed, who is weirdly given no other credentials other than “gay Muslim”, discussed the ill-treatment he receives from the larger Muslim community because of his sexuality, and it appears that his disclosure was well-received at the conference. The article also mentions some of the legal restrictions against homosexuality in some primarily Islamic countries, some of which even go up to the death penalty.

The article struck me because even though it’s so, so easy to ignore stories like this that have seemingly no effect on my life in the U.S., it’s hard to deny that this is a Big Deal. Even though I try to avoid thinking about isms in more than/less than terms, it’s difficult for me not to think of these other countries as simply more homophobic than the U.S. Particularly with Islam, the homophobia I think transcends being at a cultural level as it is within other religions. Once there are death penalty laws, I think it’s safe to say that one has reached the zenith of homophobia as an institution. I mentioned the assumptions I make about Christians in a previous post, and I think I make some of the same homophobia-emitting presumptions about Islam as a whole. I have an easier time saying disparaging things about Christianity’s treatment of gays because I primarily view it in terms of the white U.S. majority. I’m a little more uneasy about my Islam assumptions because I’m afraid I might be conflating it with ethnicity or nationalities that are different than my own. Am I viewing my conceptions of homophobia through a lens of racism or xenophobia? I don’t know, but it’s not the most pleasant thought.

So, separate from my own reaction, I cannot imagine a news item like this getting much attention in the U.S. because it intersects with issues that are largely outside the interests, I think, of most people. I feel like we don’t really have any cultural schema for “gay Muslim”, and it sounds like there might not be one in AbualSameed’s culture as well. I would hope that most people in the U.S. would be angered by the draconian anti-gay laws of other countries, but I’m afraid I’m just being overly optimistic. It might also be interesting to note that the conference took place in Johannesburg, and South Africa is one of only five countries that allow universal same-gender marriages. The general disapproval of same-gender marriage in the U.S. certainly doesn’t make us look great in terms of institutional acceptance.

She Bothered Me With Science (Beep Boop Beep)

Study: Gay men more likely to be right-handed

The link goes to an Edge Boston article describing a recent Canadian study on sexuality and manual dexterity. Specifically, the researchers found that gay men had higher rates of both left-handedness and extreme right-handedness. The implications of the study would potentially corroborate theories of homosexuality being related to developmental stressors during pregnancy. Having few or no older brothers also moderates the relationship between homosexuality and both left- and extreme right-handedness. All in all, it helps give more credence to the innateness of homosexuality.

So why include this in a portfolio about homophobia and heterosexism? For one, it seems like we as a culture should be questioning why we need scientific studies to prove that homosexuality is biologically determined. What would it mean if it wasn’t linked to genes or developmental stressors? What are the messages inherent in the cultural circulation of these research studies? Clearly, we (meaning Western culture) to be some sort of explanation as to why people would be gay, and the discursive value that our culture places on science and medicine illustrates the need for an official sanction for such deviant behavior.

I’m giving my very personal opinion, and although I value these scientific studies and find them interesting, I think that there is an assumption of biological essentialism. That is, this research maintains the notion that sexuality is inexorably linked to biology. And, undoubtedly, this is true to a considerable degree when looking at hormones, reproduction, et cetera. Yet, I think so much of our sexuality is socially constructed that focusing so intently on biology only serves to overlook these social meanings. For example, would these findings on handedness and homosexuality be applicable to other cultures or historical time periods? Homosexuality is a relatively recent and Western-centric identity, so I question just how applicable these findings are outside of the population studies. Not that it was the intent of the researchers to have universally applicable results, but I think that is how sexuality is often viewed; as unchanging no matter what the context.

So back to those pesky issues in the byline of the blog. Certainly, results like those of this study can help engender a greater acceptance of homosexuality by proving it does have a biological basis and is not merely some regrettable choice ten-ish percent of the population decided to make. Nonetheless, by giving so much clout to science and medicine on issues of homosexuality, we are basically reinforcing the normative status of heterosexuality. The converse of questioning the scientific basis for homosexuality is that the basis for heterosexuality goes unquestioned and accepted as normal. It’s kind of like disguising heterosexism in a white lab coat.

Beenie Said Knock You Out. (And That's Not The Half Of It.)

Reggae star's lyrics say that lesbians should be hanged.

So the link goes to an article from the UK Times Online that concisely introduces the “new” story of overt homophobia in reggae and dancehall songs from Jamaican artists. I feel the need to cavil just a tad because this sort of story really isn’t new at all, and I’m disappointed that some publications are just now picking up on it. I took a class last fall called “Homophobia in the Black World”, and the professor had us listen to some songs, including the Beenie Man songs named in the article. Although the reporter calls this a “new offence”, it seems like it’s been in the homophobia discourse for easily a decade and probably longer.

But, anyway, it’s an interesting part of cultural homophobia. While it’s really easy for me, for some reason, to grumble about the homophobic lyrics of Eminem and other U.S. hip hop artists, I have a little more difficulty with these reggae artists. I mean, the lyrics are reprehensible to be sure. There is little to like about “Hang lesbians with a long piece of rope,” and the “Batty Man Fi Dead” lyrics had me agape when I first read them. (And I can’t find them anywhere now to reference. I’ll work on that. Needless to say? Scary stuff.) But music is such a rich part of Jamaican culture, or at least that’s what I gathered from my professor who is from Jamaica and has done public health work there. It brings up questions of what is considered a form of art, and can it still be art if it is hateful? I don’t know if I would call Beenie Man’s songs art per se, but I can’t stand it when people make overarching statements about reggae or hip-hop music being so awful because it’s homophobic (or misogynistic). I think it denies the artistic merits of those genres to do that, and it denies the homophobia that are present in other music genres.

So it’s clear that homophobia, in the example of these songs, is operating at a fairly broad, cultural, and explicit level. Explicit, at least, for those in Jamaica, and it doesn’t exactly seem like the best place to be out about being gay there. Not to say that the things expressed in these songs are characteristic of the culture, but it’s my sense that there is a homophobia there that operates more overtly and menacingly than what I am familiar with in the U.S. Okay, now I feel like I’m digging myself into a hole here. I guess I have to honestly say that I have some presumptions about Jamaican culture vis-à-vis homophobia. Much of it is because of music like this. I think it’s good that gay rights activists are fighting against homophobia in popular music, but I have this overwhelming feeling that maybe attentions should be focused…elsewhere maybe? Maybe it’s just that I don’t feel like the oppression I receive is from homophobic lyrics; it’s more about the overall lack of positive and honest gay representation in entertainment media. However, because music is such a part of Jamaica’s culture, it makes sense for gay activists to work within that area there. I just wonder if efforts should be made to build alliances in Jamaica, though, since change might be more effectively if it’s not coming from activists based in other countries. Homophobia is everyone’s fight, but I think change in a culture is most valuable from the people in that culture.

Backward Christian Soldiers

Miller Jr., R. L. (2007). Legacy denied: African american gay men, AIDS, and the black church. Social Work, 52(1), 51-61.

I’ve linked to the full article via ProQuest, so you need some sort of authorization to hack through that little bit of academic red tape.

Miller, Jr. gathered qualitative data from ten participants on their experiences with being gay, HIV-positive, and involved in primarily African American churches. The general pattern that emerged from the participant’s narratives was that they feel a conundrum since they receive spiritual support and education while simultaneously experiencing ostracism from the congregation because of their orientation and HIV status. It’s refreshing for me to read the study since I think that so much worthwhile data can be gathered from these kinds of qualitative interviewing, and I think it’s important for the visibility of these issues in the larger academic community. Additionally, I find it remarkable that these men, despite all of their examples of homophobia in their congregations, remained in their churches for as long as they did. It’s difficult for me to understand, I suppose, because I do not come from that kind of spiritual community. My first reaction is over-simplistic: Why don’t they just leave if they don’t want to be proselytized to about their sexuality? Clearly, these men were not attending out of some perfunctory response for their community; they really enjoy the spiritual guidance.

What was most jarring for me reading the article was the discrimination received due to the AIDS crisis. One participant discusses how, following the death of his partner due to AIDS-related illness, the preacher in his congregation told everyone that the partner’s soul is lost and that he is in hell. I just find that sort of behavior appalling, particularly because it carries a religious sanction and it’s coming from a person who is supposed to provide support and guidance. I worry that I have such a strong, condemnatory reaction toward that kind of speech because it’s a cultural, religious, and racial context that I have absolutely no personal overlap with. I feel like it’s not really my place to shake my head at this form of homophobia, but as a gay person I’m completely offended and outraged.

At the same time, I can hear Keith Boykin’s words running through my head about the assumptions many people make about African Americans regarding homophobia. Now I bristle every time I hear a queer person or ally tsk-tsk about the rampant homophobia in the black religious community. There seem to be issues specific to African Americans regarding ideas of liberation and masculinity that often stand in opposition to gay or HIV-positive identities, but to say that blacks as a whole are more homophobic is ridiculous, I think. And it’s never explicitly stated whom they are allegedly more homophobic than. More homophobic than…whites? Than other, more accepting people of color? It’s so frustrating how these issues of homophobia often boil down to these judgments of who is the most or least homophobic.

Christianity is a messy issue for me to think about, so I often don’t. I’ve often thought in my interactions with Christian gay men that I have absolutely nothing in common with this person. I guess it speaks to the enormous blanket that the LGBT label puts on the community since listening to someone speak of their devout Christian beliefs is often like hearing an unfamiliar language. I still have a lot of work to do regarding my presumptions and discomfort about religion, and I think most of it comes from my sexuality. It’s one of my more overt areas of prejudice. I’m certainly becoming more conscious of it in the context of studying isms.

Younger Than Springtime

Aging and Gay, and Facing Prejudice in Twilight

The linked Times article was actually published earlier in the month, but seeing how it is so relevant to emerging issues of homophobia and how it was the partly impetus for me choosing this topic area, I thought it should be included. In addition, I’m currently completing my field placement at SAGE, an organization for gay elders, many of whom are facing difficulties like those mentioned in the article. In brief, Gross gives a picture of gay and lesbian individuals living in nursing homes and assisted living facilities. Many of these elders experience a “re-closeting” of sorts, meaning that they hide their sexuality in order to avoid derision from staff and other residents.

What makes the issue so affecting, outside of my personal work in this area, is that it really covers so many aspects of homophobia and heterosexism. These elders receive discrimination at a micro-level, in the form of insults from other residents and staff members wearing gloves at inappropriate times. Moreover, there is institutional discrimination within the homes, as evidenced by the moving of gay residents to dementia units so in order to assuage the anxieties of the other residents. There is also an enormous cultural devaluing of the elderly, and gay elders have little or no representation in any media. I know that the (front page!) publication of this article helped to increase visibility, and I spoke with about a dozen friends and family members who read the article and were outraged at the treatment received by these individuals.

I think, or at least I would hope, that the overall public reaction to these sorts of issues would be that of anger or shock. It’s surprising because, even though agencies like SAGE have been around for several years, sexuality among the elderly just does not get discussed on a cultural level. Particularly regarding nursing homes, there are already so many issues of overlooking the needs of the elderly that such a consideration almost seems superfluous. I think that continued press on the experiences of gay elders can only result in augmented efforts and increased understanding of their needs.

Especially because many of the instances of homophobia mentioned are overt and based on unambiguous discrimination, it is easier to document and report such experiences in the media. Without a doubt, much of the press on gay issues goes to same-gender marriage, politics, and issues relevant to youth, which I think reflects what we consider worthwhile under the spectrum of “gay issues”. Hence, being able to affect widespread positive change in the daily interactions of and microagressions against these gay residents may take a long time. Until then, I think we can do our job to increase awareness and give support to LGBT aging projects that are already working against homophobia and heterosexism.