Not Exactly Brangelina, These Guys

Top Chef 3's Dale, Project Runway 4's Jack dating, having safe sex.

Okay, so I’ve wanted to discuss homophobia in movies or TV or some other media, but I'm increasingly realizing that I don't really watch movies or TV that much any more. But! I do try to keep up with Bravo's programming, so this headline grabbed my attention, and it gives me a chance to think about media representations despite the roominess of the entertainment-lacking cave I apparently dwell in.

Anyway, so this is kind of an anomalous news story, both in its lack of relevance (That’s totally my judgment. Two people who lost separate reality competitions are now dating? Fascinating!) but more so because stories about gay men dating aren’t exactly widely circulated. Especially stories that touch upon HIV and some of the issues it raises in relationships.

My strongest reaction is to the concerns that Jack, who is HIV-positive, caused by dating a man who is believed to be HIV-negative. Jack says, much more tactfully than I would probably put it if I were in his position, that there are plenty of ways to be sexually active without risking transmission of the virus. I think that this concern is probably a reaction a lot of Bravo fans might have had to hearing the story. Knowing Jack’s status, the thought definitely crossed my mind: “I wonder if the HIV thing is an issue.” It got me thinking, too, about if I would date a guy who is HIV-positive. (I am negative.) I like to think I would, but maybe I’m giving myself too much credit.

I’m still working out how the story relates to homophobia and/or heterosexism. Its fairly wide circulation in the blogosphere and my subsequent uneasiness makes me think it does relate in some way. I think there is kind of a Venn diagram of HIV-phobia and homophobia, in that there is often a demonstrable overlap but that each is capable of operating outside of one another. Jack mentioned in another article on the subject (that I am currently unable to relocate) that people kind of assumed that Dale is negative, so I think that’s one aspect. There is an assumption of HIV-negativity unless it’s openly refuted. I think it speaks to certain presumptions about homosexuality, too, that most people jump right to the sexual aspect of the relationship. It’s like there is this idea of, “How do they have sex?” Why do they have to have sex? It’s like the HIV status throws an incongruous wrench into what people expect of a gay relationship. And I don’t want to put it off me totally by saying “people” assume that, because I think that too.

I’m kind of wondering now how HIV status fits into (or doesn’t fit into) the greater isms discourse. It’s an identity that is often invisible and cuts across every other identity. It also is wrapped up with presumptions of race, ethnicity, and sexuality. I guess even though I think these kinds of “news” stories are a little…fluffy, I’m glad it’s giving some awareness to gay inter-HIV status relationships. There are implications for looking at heterosexism, to be sure, but I think I’m mostly happy that it can give someone like my mother, who is a Top Chef fan, some awareness about these identities.