Traveled Down The Road And Back Again

The semester has come to a close, and so has the ‘folio.

My first thought looking back on the entries is, hmm, this wasn’t so much a portfolio of homophobia and heterosexism as much as it was a portfolio of my reactions to those topics. I mean that, I don’t think I learned as much about the isms themselves as I have learned about myself in relation to those isms. Sure, I learned concrete things about homosexuality and being right-handed and about the experience of coming out as gay and Muslim. I’m exceedingly glad about that, too, because I feel like I have a better understanding of the community as a whole.

Yet, being actively conscious about these issues for the past few weeks has showed me just how unconscious I was before. Or at least how unwilling I was to process the heterosexist interactions around me. I still feel uncomfortable to some degree, but I’m more conscious about that discomfort, which I think is a step in the right direction. And I feel like I'm in greater proximity to all of the aspects of homophobia mentioned here, which gives me greater empowerment in confronting the isms when they are present.

I’m also happy, on a meta level, that I have this blog as a tangible portfolio of the past weeks. I can save the entries and always have my little perspective on the events of late 2007. It was more work than I thought, but I can honestly say it was worth it.

So in a way, yay! I mean, not yay for homophobia. You get what I mean.

Fear and Self-Loathing

Jeremy's Journey Continues

This might be another example of me trying to fit something into the discussion of homophobia and heterosexism that might not be applicable, but I feel up to the challenge. So the link goes to a rather grisly story about Jeremy Gillitzer, a gay man in Minnesota who has been committed (by social workers) to an eating disorders hospital. There is no mention of any overt homophobia he has experienced, but the article got me thinking about the pervasiveness of eating disorders and body image distortions among in the gay (male) community.

Jeremy’s words about his disorder being a form of comfort really resonate with me. I think that maybe an eating disorder could be a way to provide comfort for a gay man’s feelings of self-hatred. Internalized homophobia is one area I haven’t really discussed here, but I don’t think that it just comes in the classic example of the “straight” guy who acts homophobic on the outside to hide his disapproval of his actual orientation. In terms of these serious body image disorders, maybe this internalized homophobia comes from a place of, “I accept that I’m gay, but I hate myself for being gay and not fitting in to the strict physical requirements of the community.” Maybe?

As a culture, I think there is a certain discomfort around seeing men with eating disorders. It goes against much of our notions of proper masculinity to see men obsess about their appearance to the point of losing weight and muscle mass. There’s a specter of sexism, too, hovering around this issue. I guess looking at my own very visceral reaction of horror to seeing the pictures of Jeremy, part of it is that I have an assumption of eating disorders as being a women’s disease. It’s like, a story about a (non-celebrity) woman with an eating disorder wouldn’t faze me because it’s such a gendered affliction. I think that even the cultural omnipresence of the word manorexic illustrates how we don’t take the issue all that seriously. Clearly, it’s a serious issue in the gay male community, so treating it with such a combination of levity and contempt tells me that this issue is not worth discussing, which smacks of heterosexism.

It seems like it would be really difficult to discuss any of these issues without giving due exploration into the role of sexism. Eating disorders among heterosexual women can be viewed in one way as the coercion of women into male-sanctioned perceptions of beauty and worth. I wonder if there are similar aspects at work among gay men. If eating disorders are indeed a way of wresting control from otherwise adverse circumstances, what is it about those circumstances that make them so unmanageable? I think this internalized homophobia has something to do with it, and really, where is there to turn when you hold an ism against yourself?

Not Exactly Brangelina, These Guys

Top Chef 3's Dale, Project Runway 4's Jack dating, having safe sex.

Okay, so I’ve wanted to discuss homophobia in movies or TV or some other media, but I'm increasingly realizing that I don't really watch movies or TV that much any more. But! I do try to keep up with Bravo's programming, so this headline grabbed my attention, and it gives me a chance to think about media representations despite the roominess of the entertainment-lacking cave I apparently dwell in.

Anyway, so this is kind of an anomalous news story, both in its lack of relevance (That’s totally my judgment. Two people who lost separate reality competitions are now dating? Fascinating!) but more so because stories about gay men dating aren’t exactly widely circulated. Especially stories that touch upon HIV and some of the issues it raises in relationships.

My strongest reaction is to the concerns that Jack, who is HIV-positive, caused by dating a man who is believed to be HIV-negative. Jack says, much more tactfully than I would probably put it if I were in his position, that there are plenty of ways to be sexually active without risking transmission of the virus. I think that this concern is probably a reaction a lot of Bravo fans might have had to hearing the story. Knowing Jack’s status, the thought definitely crossed my mind: “I wonder if the HIV thing is an issue.” It got me thinking, too, about if I would date a guy who is HIV-positive. (I am negative.) I like to think I would, but maybe I’m giving myself too much credit.

I’m still working out how the story relates to homophobia and/or heterosexism. Its fairly wide circulation in the blogosphere and my subsequent uneasiness makes me think it does relate in some way. I think there is kind of a Venn diagram of HIV-phobia and homophobia, in that there is often a demonstrable overlap but that each is capable of operating outside of one another. Jack mentioned in another article on the subject (that I am currently unable to relocate) that people kind of assumed that Dale is negative, so I think that’s one aspect. There is an assumption of HIV-negativity unless it’s openly refuted. I think it speaks to certain presumptions about homosexuality, too, that most people jump right to the sexual aspect of the relationship. It’s like there is this idea of, “How do they have sex?” Why do they have to have sex? It’s like the HIV status throws an incongruous wrench into what people expect of a gay relationship. And I don’t want to put it off me totally by saying “people” assume that, because I think that too.

I’m kind of wondering now how HIV status fits into (or doesn’t fit into) the greater isms discourse. It’s an identity that is often invisible and cuts across every other identity. It also is wrapped up with presumptions of race, ethnicity, and sexuality. I guess even though I think these kinds of “news” stories are a little…fluffy, I’m glad it’s giving some awareness to gay inter-HIV status relationships. There are implications for looking at heterosexism, to be sure, but I think I’m mostly happy that it can give someone like my mother, who is a Top Chef fan, some awareness about these identities.

Taking The "Ism " Out Of "Islam"

Gay Muslim Outs Himself to Muslim Scholars at Conference

The article link goes to a UK Gay News story about a gay Muslim man who came out to an audience of Muslim scholars at the International Consultation on Islam and HIV/AIDS. Suhail AbualSameed, who is weirdly given no other credentials other than “gay Muslim”, discussed the ill-treatment he receives from the larger Muslim community because of his sexuality, and it appears that his disclosure was well-received at the conference. The article also mentions some of the legal restrictions against homosexuality in some primarily Islamic countries, some of which even go up to the death penalty.

The article struck me because even though it’s so, so easy to ignore stories like this that have seemingly no effect on my life in the U.S., it’s hard to deny that this is a Big Deal. Even though I try to avoid thinking about isms in more than/less than terms, it’s difficult for me not to think of these other countries as simply more homophobic than the U.S. Particularly with Islam, the homophobia I think transcends being at a cultural level as it is within other religions. Once there are death penalty laws, I think it’s safe to say that one has reached the zenith of homophobia as an institution. I mentioned the assumptions I make about Christians in a previous post, and I think I make some of the same homophobia-emitting presumptions about Islam as a whole. I have an easier time saying disparaging things about Christianity’s treatment of gays because I primarily view it in terms of the white U.S. majority. I’m a little more uneasy about my Islam assumptions because I’m afraid I might be conflating it with ethnicity or nationalities that are different than my own. Am I viewing my conceptions of homophobia through a lens of racism or xenophobia? I don’t know, but it’s not the most pleasant thought.

So, separate from my own reaction, I cannot imagine a news item like this getting much attention in the U.S. because it intersects with issues that are largely outside the interests, I think, of most people. I feel like we don’t really have any cultural schema for “gay Muslim”, and it sounds like there might not be one in AbualSameed’s culture as well. I would hope that most people in the U.S. would be angered by the draconian anti-gay laws of other countries, but I’m afraid I’m just being overly optimistic. It might also be interesting to note that the conference took place in Johannesburg, and South Africa is one of only five countries that allow universal same-gender marriages. The general disapproval of same-gender marriage in the U.S. certainly doesn’t make us look great in terms of institutional acceptance.

"Funny Like I'm A Clown?"

I guess this is kind of a follow-up to my earlier post about the school, but this week I keep noticing something in my classes. Like, in this week’s Isms Lab we shared our instances of confronting or not confronting isms in our everyday lives. I shared my non-story of non-confrontation, and I picked up on something that I’ve noticed before in other classes. Many times when I talk in front of my classmates or give presentations, I am met with a lot of…I guess, smiles and laughing and aww-ing? Which I always think is strange because I don’t consider myself to be all that charismatic or anything. But I will honestly say things in what I consider a normal tone for myself, and my classmates tend to respond in a humored way. I mean, not laughing at me, per se, but…I feel like they are kind of laughing at the way I talk and my gesticulations and all that. It all kind of makes me feel like a spectacle. Like is my mere presence really that funny?

Does that make any sense?

The point I’m getting to is that I feel like I’m treated differently because of the way I apparently present myself. It makes me think that if I acted in way that was less, say, stereotypically gay, then I wouldn’t be met with such humored reactions. The more I think about it the more it bothers me because I question how seriously I can really be taken. What if I was giving a sales pitch for my company or relaying some scientific findings; would I be taken as seriously as a heterosexual-looking man? I kind of doubt it.

There seems to be a notion of gay mannerisms = funny, which is certainly a less insidious form of homophobia than others, but I think it’s still a form nonetheless. The good social worker in me always wants to call out my classmates and say something like, “I can’t help but notice that you all look really amused by me right now? Are you reacting to something I’m saying?”

I experience this as a microaggression partly because I don’t think that people react consciously to me in this way. We’re certainly taught that it’s funny to see a man act like a woman because, well, what could be more zany and backwards than that? Not that I think I act like a woman, but I know it just takes a flick of my wrist to get a laugh out of people. I don’t know. I’m all over the place on this one.

Age Ain't Nothing But A Number (Um, NOT.)

So, here’s the entry that I’ve wanted and simultaneously really not wanted to post. Personal? Oh yes.

I’ve been dating a guy for a few weeks now. We met earlier in November under circumstances that are rather unusual for me. Here’s the story:

I saw him standing on the L platform at 14^th Street and we made eye contact. And made eye contact again. And one more time. Once in the train, he sat next to me. What followed were the most tense eight or so minutes of my life. We didn’t talk, and we couldn’t really make any more eye contact because we were next to each other, but there was a tension between us that was almost unbearable. I knew I was attracted to him, but I didn’t know if it was reciprocated. He moved his hand to his leg so that it was about an inch away from my leg. I took that as my sign and as I was putting my iPod away at Grand Street, I turned and shakily asked him for his number. He looked at me blankly and said, “What?” and I immediately wanted to run away. He’s straight, I thought. It turns out, he didn’t understand what I said. Because he's German and I'm a mumbler. So I got the number, and he was interested, and yada yada dating.

So now that I’m more into the blog here, I can look at this more in terms of the relevant isms, I think. Of course, straight people can typically ask each other out without having to consider half the things I was thinking at the time. These include and are not limited to: “What if he’s straight?”, “What if someone overhears us?”, “What if he laughs or punches me?”. Part of that is my own fear of rejection, but there’s a safety component there that isn’t something that straight people have to be terribly concerned about. It was the L train, which has kind of a cosmopolitan reputation (or least as much as a subway line can have one), but it’s not like it’s a gay bar where I can be sure that he isn’t straight. We had to use an unspoken language to express our mutual interest, and even that was far from foolproof.

Now having seen him more than a few times, I’m becoming aware of my reluctance to talk about him with other people, particularly at school and with my family. Not that I think they wouldn’t be accepting of me dating somebody. But we don’t really represent the typical gay couple, mostly because he is considerably older than I am. I feel like I would be met with a lot of resistance if I divulged our age difference. I don’t think that resistance is due to direct homophobia, exactly, but I think it comes from an inability to neatly categorize the relationship. Or it might just come from genuine disgust about the age difference; disgust aimed at him for being a perv and at me for seeking that out. Such a reaction is completely mired in presumptions of gender and class along with sexuality. It definitely says something that I’m feeling the weight of all of this without having even told most people. I’m already programmed.

She Bothered Me With Science (Beep Boop Beep)

Study: Gay men more likely to be right-handed

The link goes to an Edge Boston article describing a recent Canadian study on sexuality and manual dexterity. Specifically, the researchers found that gay men had higher rates of both left-handedness and extreme right-handedness. The implications of the study would potentially corroborate theories of homosexuality being related to developmental stressors during pregnancy. Having few or no older brothers also moderates the relationship between homosexuality and both left- and extreme right-handedness. All in all, it helps give more credence to the innateness of homosexuality.

So why include this in a portfolio about homophobia and heterosexism? For one, it seems like we as a culture should be questioning why we need scientific studies to prove that homosexuality is biologically determined. What would it mean if it wasn’t linked to genes or developmental stressors? What are the messages inherent in the cultural circulation of these research studies? Clearly, we (meaning Western culture) to be some sort of explanation as to why people would be gay, and the discursive value that our culture places on science and medicine illustrates the need for an official sanction for such deviant behavior.

I’m giving my very personal opinion, and although I value these scientific studies and find them interesting, I think that there is an assumption of biological essentialism. That is, this research maintains the notion that sexuality is inexorably linked to biology. And, undoubtedly, this is true to a considerable degree when looking at hormones, reproduction, et cetera. Yet, I think so much of our sexuality is socially constructed that focusing so intently on biology only serves to overlook these social meanings. For example, would these findings on handedness and homosexuality be applicable to other cultures or historical time periods? Homosexuality is a relatively recent and Western-centric identity, so I question just how applicable these findings are outside of the population studies. Not that it was the intent of the researchers to have universally applicable results, but I think that is how sexuality is often viewed; as unchanging no matter what the context.

So back to those pesky issues in the byline of the blog. Certainly, results like those of this study can help engender a greater acceptance of homosexuality by proving it does have a biological basis and is not merely some regrettable choice ten-ish percent of the population decided to make. Nonetheless, by giving so much clout to science and medicine on issues of homosexuality, we are basically reinforcing the normative status of heterosexuality. The converse of questioning the scientific basis for homosexuality is that the basis for heterosexuality goes unquestioned and accepted as normal. It’s kind of like disguising heterosexism in a white lab coat.

Beenie Said Knock You Out. (And That's Not The Half Of It.)

Reggae star's lyrics say that lesbians should be hanged.

So the link goes to an article from the UK Times Online that concisely introduces the “new” story of overt homophobia in reggae and dancehall songs from Jamaican artists. I feel the need to cavil just a tad because this sort of story really isn’t new at all, and I’m disappointed that some publications are just now picking up on it. I took a class last fall called “Homophobia in the Black World”, and the professor had us listen to some songs, including the Beenie Man songs named in the article. Although the reporter calls this a “new offence”, it seems like it’s been in the homophobia discourse for easily a decade and probably longer.

But, anyway, it’s an interesting part of cultural homophobia. While it’s really easy for me, for some reason, to grumble about the homophobic lyrics of Eminem and other U.S. hip hop artists, I have a little more difficulty with these reggae artists. I mean, the lyrics are reprehensible to be sure. There is little to like about “Hang lesbians with a long piece of rope,” and the “Batty Man Fi Dead” lyrics had me agape when I first read them. (And I can’t find them anywhere now to reference. I’ll work on that. Needless to say? Scary stuff.) But music is such a rich part of Jamaican culture, or at least that’s what I gathered from my professor who is from Jamaica and has done public health work there. It brings up questions of what is considered a form of art, and can it still be art if it is hateful? I don’t know if I would call Beenie Man’s songs art per se, but I can’t stand it when people make overarching statements about reggae or hip-hop music being so awful because it’s homophobic (or misogynistic). I think it denies the artistic merits of those genres to do that, and it denies the homophobia that are present in other music genres.

So it’s clear that homophobia, in the example of these songs, is operating at a fairly broad, cultural, and explicit level. Explicit, at least, for those in Jamaica, and it doesn’t exactly seem like the best place to be out about being gay there. Not to say that the things expressed in these songs are characteristic of the culture, but it’s my sense that there is a homophobia there that operates more overtly and menacingly than what I am familiar with in the U.S. Okay, now I feel like I’m digging myself into a hole here. I guess I have to honestly say that I have some presumptions about Jamaican culture vis-à-vis homophobia. Much of it is because of music like this. I think it’s good that gay rights activists are fighting against homophobia in popular music, but I have this overwhelming feeling that maybe attentions should be focused…elsewhere maybe? Maybe it’s just that I don’t feel like the oppression I receive is from homophobic lyrics; it’s more about the overall lack of positive and honest gay representation in entertainment media. However, because music is such a part of Jamaica’s culture, it makes sense for gay activists to work within that area there. I just wonder if efforts should be made to build alliances in Jamaica, though, since change might be more effectively if it’s not coming from activists based in other countries. Homophobia is everyone’s fight, but I think change in a culture is most valuable from the people in that culture.

Culture Shock

If I may share a personal experience, I always feel a bit of a conflict when I go home for the holidays. Being from central Pennsylvania, I often experience a small amount of culture shock when I return home from New York or my previous residence in Ann Arbor, Michigan. I wouldn’t exactly say that the people in central PA are cultural troglodytes compared to my peers in New York or Michigan, but I definitely set my expectations high for my friends and family in terms of political correctness and sensitivity around issues of social identity.

So the first incident happened while I was driving to a gay club with my friends, who are all hetero-identified. One of my closest friends, K, commented that she was glad another friend, A, was going with us to the club because, “That way [K] won’t be the only dyke-y looking one there.” I was more than a little jarred by K’s language, but not as much as A who was also in the car at the time and was far from happy with the comparison. After seeing A’s reaction, K apologized for offending her, and I didn’t say anything about K’s choice of language because the atmosphere was already uncomfortable enough. At least, that was how I rationalized my decision at the time.

The other, much less incendiary comment that I heard while at home was made by my older step-brother. Truthfully, I don’t remember what warranted the remark (football?), but he called someone or something on the television “queer”. I didn’t say anything, and no one else seemed to react, though I think my mother was a little uncomfortable if only because I was in the room. My lack of response, I think, came from my natural aversion to confrontation as well as the fact that I don’t know my step-brother very well since I only see him one or two days a year.

So these are both clearly examples of individual-level, vocal acts of homophobia, though I would hesitate to call either my friend or my step-brother actively “homophobic” since I know them fairly well. As I continue to think about these comments, I’m increasingly unnerved by the lack of reactions from the people who were around me at the time. But, of course, I did not show much of a reaction either, so is it really my place to admonish my friends and family? I guess, I don’t think I should always have to defend myself, and I consider my peers to be at a level where they should be able to confront or intervene in the overt instances as well. For example, my mother has told me about how she will not put up with homophobic language at her office, and she will even throw my name out as a reason why she is personally upset by certain words. Nonetheless, I realize this is an area for me to work on. I think that if I was to vocally express how such language affects me, like my mother does at work, it would provide more of an incentive for my friends and family to confront instances both when I am present and when I’m not. In fact, it makes me wonder how often my friends or my extended family say things when I’m not around, and if they are reining it in while I’m in the room or the car or whatever.

Taking my weekend at home as a whole, I guess I feel a little uncomfortable when I’m out of my usual, safe, very gay and gay-friendly milieu. The context of homophobia is certainly worth considering when looking at one’s decision to confront or not to confront certain overt acts.

Backward Christian Soldiers

Miller Jr., R. L. (2007). Legacy denied: African american gay men, AIDS, and the black church. Social Work, 52(1), 51-61.

I’ve linked to the full article via ProQuest, so you need some sort of authorization to hack through that little bit of academic red tape.

Miller, Jr. gathered qualitative data from ten participants on their experiences with being gay, HIV-positive, and involved in primarily African American churches. The general pattern that emerged from the participant’s narratives was that they feel a conundrum since they receive spiritual support and education while simultaneously experiencing ostracism from the congregation because of their orientation and HIV status. It’s refreshing for me to read the study since I think that so much worthwhile data can be gathered from these kinds of qualitative interviewing, and I think it’s important for the visibility of these issues in the larger academic community. Additionally, I find it remarkable that these men, despite all of their examples of homophobia in their congregations, remained in their churches for as long as they did. It’s difficult for me to understand, I suppose, because I do not come from that kind of spiritual community. My first reaction is over-simplistic: Why don’t they just leave if they don’t want to be proselytized to about their sexuality? Clearly, these men were not attending out of some perfunctory response for their community; they really enjoy the spiritual guidance.

What was most jarring for me reading the article was the discrimination received due to the AIDS crisis. One participant discusses how, following the death of his partner due to AIDS-related illness, the preacher in his congregation told everyone that the partner’s soul is lost and that he is in hell. I just find that sort of behavior appalling, particularly because it carries a religious sanction and it’s coming from a person who is supposed to provide support and guidance. I worry that I have such a strong, condemnatory reaction toward that kind of speech because it’s a cultural, religious, and racial context that I have absolutely no personal overlap with. I feel like it’s not really my place to shake my head at this form of homophobia, but as a gay person I’m completely offended and outraged.

At the same time, I can hear Keith Boykin’s words running through my head about the assumptions many people make about African Americans regarding homophobia. Now I bristle every time I hear a queer person or ally tsk-tsk about the rampant homophobia in the black religious community. There seem to be issues specific to African Americans regarding ideas of liberation and masculinity that often stand in opposition to gay or HIV-positive identities, but to say that blacks as a whole are more homophobic is ridiculous, I think. And it’s never explicitly stated whom they are allegedly more homophobic than. More homophobic than…whites? Than other, more accepting people of color? It’s so frustrating how these issues of homophobia often boil down to these judgments of who is the most or least homophobic.

Christianity is a messy issue for me to think about, so I often don’t. I’ve often thought in my interactions with Christian gay men that I have absolutely nothing in common with this person. I guess it speaks to the enormous blanket that the LGBT label puts on the community since listening to someone speak of their devout Christian beliefs is often like hearing an unfamiliar language. I still have a lot of work to do regarding my presumptions and discomfort about religion, and I think most of it comes from my sexuality. It’s one of my more overt areas of prejudice. I’m certainly becoming more conscious of it in the context of studying isms.

Varsity Blues

Osborne, D. & Wagner, III, W. E. (2007). Exploring the relationship between homophobia and participation in core sports among high school students. Sociological Perspectives, 50(4), 597-613.

The link goes to the article, via ProQuest, so you need to be logged in to view it.

Osborne and Wagner, in brief, interviewed 1470 public high school students in Philadelphia. The interview consisted of questions asking about their involvement in extracurricular activites, both athletic and nonathletic, and their feelings about gay people and discrimination against them. As the researchers predicted, male students who participated in athletic activities were three times more likely to demonstrate homophobic beliefs than those who were not. Additionally, female students involved in nonathletic activities were half as likely to demonstrate homophobia than those who were not. Male students were also more likely to have homophobic beliefs than female students overall.

It’s difficult for me not to have a “duh” reaction to these findings because they unerringly confirm my assumptions of homophobia among high school athletes. Speaking personally, I went to high school not terribly long ago and, though I wasn’t the victim of any extreme homophobia, I know that the male sports team, and particularly the varsity football team, was known for it’s absurd culture of hyper-masculinity. I also had the joy of four years of mandated physical education classes (thanks, Pennsylvania!), so I have some idea of what kind of talk happens in high school locker rooms despite my noninvolvement in high school athletics. It’s nothing surprising, just your typical derogatory comments.

I guess the study raises the question for me of, why is it assumed that this is part of high school athletic culture? Does assuming it will be there make it easier to ignore or accept it? Homophobia among high school students typically happens between individually, but does it also occur at the institutional level among schools who do not have policies against these sorts of actions? I would say so. I would say it happened at the level of the faculty, at least, at my school since many teacher would outright ignore or offer an indulgent “Now, guys…” in nauseating efforts to ingratiate themselves with the popular students.

I also have a reaction of just what are the effects of this homophobia. If homophobia is more likely to be found among the athletic boys, then, and this is just me making an unfounded conjecture, it’s probably likely to exist disproportionately among the more popular students. And, typically, popular students tend to be those that come from wealthier families; hence, they have greater resources in place to further their education or acquire more influential jobs. Then aren’t we, as a culture, really allowing the students who have the most tangible resources and likely potential enter the world with the greatest amount of homophobia? I realize I probably just made no less than a dozen errors in logic and I have no research to back me up, but it’s disheartening nonetheless for me to think about.

So, now determined to end on an optimistic note on this Friday, at least these teenagers are still teenagers and there is plenty of time for programming interventions to help mitigate this homophobia. Moreover, I’ve neglected to discuss the other major finding of the study that girls in nonathletic activities displayed less homophobia. I think that I can sleep a little better knowing that the students in the yearbook and science club are less homophobic.

Obligatory School-Related Post

I’ve been determined since undertaking this project to find heterosexist microaggressions in the school. And, (un?)fortunately, I’m coming up a little dry. I think part of it, honestly, is that the School of Social Work lives up to its reputation to being an environment of social justice. I think maybe a bigger part may be that I’ve sort of trained myself not to notice microaggressions. It’s uncomfortable for me to encounter and process them, and, not to psychoanalyze myself too much, I think I use it as a defense mechanism so that I can go on liking my school and my classmates.

That said, I’m noticing that on an interpersonal level it’s difficult for me to relate to a lot of my predominantly heterosexual and female classmates. I think it’s because there are bi-directional expectations at work based on gender on sexuality. On one hand, I feel like classmates are expecting me to fulfill gay male stereotypes about mannerisms, behavior, and dating. On the other hand, I expect them to have those expectations, so it stands out to me when I think they are acting in accordance with that. In short: they expect me to be Will, I expect them to be Grace. Those feelings aside, I would have to be completely oblivious not to notice all of the talk about boyfriends and husbands and hetero-relationships that, kind of inexplicably, makes me feel left out.

In the classroom, the most common theme I notice is the assumption of heterosexuality in any sort of therapeutic vignette or hypothetical situation. Whenever discussing the case of a gay person, it’s always explicitly stated, but if it is not then the client is always presumed to be heterosexual. Which, I think, is fair of the students to think that since it might not be a client population they have had much experience with. Still, it doesn’t take the professor much time or energy to mention sexuality and the similar or varying implications for a client depending on her or his orientation.

Mention of “gay issues” in classes is a double-edged sword. It needs to be there, but when it does get mentioned, I always feel like attention is directed at me and that it’s my responsibility to say something. Part of that is because I’m located at a gay agency, but I don’t think that’s why I feel an expectation to give my homo-sanction to the discussion. I find myself worrying a lot if these feelings I have are unfounded and are simply a result of some kind of heterosexist minority threat. I will say, though, that I think I can make a completely tenable claim that there is little LGBT-related material in the overall curriculum. Cultural competence is (somewhat) discussed with respect to race and ethnicity and gender, but there is nothing I have been taught about considerations for LGBT clients. Every day I’m at SAGE I think, what on earth would this be like for a straight student who has had no experience with gay people? And, because of this gap in the curriculum, I feel like my experiences are not always applicable to lessons or class discussions. I know the gay students are starting to sound like broken records at the school, but there is really a disservice to both gay and straight students in the area of queer ally building.

I guess that’s a lot of talking without a concrete, recent example for the portfolio. So here is one from a week or two ago that I’ll let speak for itself:

Student: Where is your field placement?

Mike: Oh, at an agency that provides counseling for gay elders.

Student: Oh…[voice going up an octave] Oh, that’s great!

Okay, I won’t let it speak for itself. Students should not be uncomfortable at the mere thought of gay people! ARGH.

Something Borrowed, Something Blah

Fred Thompson Quizzed On Civil Unions

The link goes to a short story about Fred Thompson getting confused about the state of same-sex marriages and civil unions. Thompson’s campaign supports states’ rights to decide on civil unions and he is against recognizing full faith and credit with respect to same-sex unions.

I’ve intentionally skirted around the political arena up to this point because, well, with politics comes the same-sex marriage debate, and with the same-sex marriage debate comes my utter exhaustion. I don’t think it’s particularly homophobic to not to be up-to-date with the current state of same-sex marriage in the U.S. I, however, think there is some heterosexism in some of the way that the issue is handled in a lot of my interactions. For one, people always assume that I support same-sex marriage. I don’t. I support the right for all people of all sexualities to get married, but I have no intention to get married, nor do I even like the institution as a whole.

I’m thinking, too, that a classmate of mine flashed me her engagement ring the other day and I couldn’t help but feel a little…alienated, maybe? Like, she made a choice to become part of an institution that I cannot be a part of (even though I don’t want to, but whatever) and that is a conscious choice to perpetuate the privileges awarded to heterosexuality. I’m sure she didn’t intend to upset me or anything, and truthfully she didn’t, but I always feel that way when I’m so directly confronted by marriage. It just confounds me how many socially liberal and pro-gay straight people get married, and it’s not like I’m seeing a lot of “bring the institution down from the inside” sort of behavior going on. Maybe if culturally we focused more on the experiences of actual gay people inside and outside of relationships, there would be more interpersonal consideration from straight people on how they may or may not be committing microaggressions in this area.

(Not So Cont-)Rite Aid

"Animus in the Aisles"

The link goes to an article from the D.C. based Metro Weekly. They report an incident where two men were kicked out of a Rite Aid Pharmacy after displaying some affection and receiving a look from the store manager. The corporate offices (which are near my hometown in central Pennsylvania) declined to comment, and there has not been any further comment from the Rite Aid employees involved.

Clearly the motive for the security guard asking the couple to leave cannot be one hundred percent ascertained from the article, but it seems safe to say that he and/or the manager acted out of some discomfort over the couple’s public affection. Additionally, the couple’s friend was in the store and he was not asked to leave with them, so it’s not like the store was closing or anything. It seems like this is an instance of overt, individual level homophobia. I think that the public reaction would be limited, and I certainly have not heard a lot of press about this story. The couple is black, too, but there is no mention of possible racist motives in their ejection from the store. There is no doubt in my mind that if the couple was white and wealthy and lived somewhere other than Silver Spring, Maryland that there would be (slightly) more press on the subject. Even with these acts of seemingly explicit homophobia, race is a huge factor in how widely the story is promulgated. I think of the differences in reactions following the hate-motivated murder of Matthew Shepard, who was white and from Wyoming, than the more recent hate-motivated murder of Michael Sandy, who was black and from Brooklyn. Not that this particular instance of homophobia is comparable to either of these examples, but it seems that the significance attached to certain hate crimes is inexorably linked to race.

With all of that said, to be completely honest, I don’t have a strong reaction to the posted article. I’m not surprised that it happened mostly because I think it could happen (and does happen) anywhere. I typically feel myself more incensed by stories of either more harmful acts of individual homophobia or by instances of institutional homophobia that operate through more discursive means. Getting kicked out of a Rite Aid is, I can’t help but feel, par for the course. Until positive change is made on a cultural level, these instances of homophobia will keep happening and it's difficult to get outraged over each one. If the victims were more similar to me in terms of location or race, I might have a stronger identification and a stronger reaction to it. I suppose I'm only implicating myself in bemoaning the lack of outrage over acts like this. I think, though, that there is room for dialogue on the role of race and class in homophobic actions and how these social identities interact with community and cultural (non)reactions to discrimination.

Younger Than Springtime

Aging and Gay, and Facing Prejudice in Twilight

The linked Times article was actually published earlier in the month, but seeing how it is so relevant to emerging issues of homophobia and how it was the partly impetus for me choosing this topic area, I thought it should be included. In addition, I’m currently completing my field placement at SAGE, an organization for gay elders, many of whom are facing difficulties like those mentioned in the article. In brief, Gross gives a picture of gay and lesbian individuals living in nursing homes and assisted living facilities. Many of these elders experience a “re-closeting” of sorts, meaning that they hide their sexuality in order to avoid derision from staff and other residents.

What makes the issue so affecting, outside of my personal work in this area, is that it really covers so many aspects of homophobia and heterosexism. These elders receive discrimination at a micro-level, in the form of insults from other residents and staff members wearing gloves at inappropriate times. Moreover, there is institutional discrimination within the homes, as evidenced by the moving of gay residents to dementia units so in order to assuage the anxieties of the other residents. There is also an enormous cultural devaluing of the elderly, and gay elders have little or no representation in any media. I know that the (front page!) publication of this article helped to increase visibility, and I spoke with about a dozen friends and family members who read the article and were outraged at the treatment received by these individuals.

I think, or at least I would hope, that the overall public reaction to these sorts of issues would be that of anger or shock. It’s surprising because, even though agencies like SAGE have been around for several years, sexuality among the elderly just does not get discussed on a cultural level. Particularly regarding nursing homes, there are already so many issues of overlooking the needs of the elderly that such a consideration almost seems superfluous. I think that continued press on the experiences of gay elders can only result in augmented efforts and increased understanding of their needs.

Especially because many of the instances of homophobia mentioned are overt and based on unambiguous discrimination, it is easier to document and report such experiences in the media. Without a doubt, much of the press on gay issues goes to same-gender marriage, politics, and issues relevant to youth, which I think reflects what we consider worthwhile under the spectrum of “gay issues”. Hence, being able to affect widespread positive change in the daily interactions of and microagressions against these gay residents may take a long time. Until then, I think we can do our job to increase awareness and give support to LGBT aging projects that are already working against homophobia and heterosexism.

It Begins

Welcome to my blog! Here I will document whatever I encounter as it relates to homophobia and heterosexism. This will hopefully complete my portfolio assignment for The Isms Laboratory at the Columbia University School of Social Work

So, why homophobia and heterosexism? Although I fully disclose that I'm gay and proud of it, I should also say that I can be alarmingly obtuse to the goings-on of gay-related issues in the media and even in my own interactions. (I typically consider "paying attention" to mean "keeping up with what each designer made this week on Project Runway.") I have an inherent interest in the LGBT community, and I think that will help keep me genuinely engaged in this project. Also, while documenting another ism that applies less directly to my identities might be more personally challenging, I still feel there is a void, both in my school and in the general culture, of awareness around LGBT issues. I will still, however, challenge myself to seek out aspects of homophobia that represent the diversity of the community as a whole. I will also challenge myself to speak personally and really own my feelings and opinions as they are relevant. Will I learn something? I think so, but ask me again in seven weeks.